The Three P’s…
From seeing who people are, losing love, and my safe space -pivoting, prayer, and push was my mantra for 2023 going into 2024…
As winter ramps its ugly head, I can only reflect on how far I have come this year. The season I have embarked on is about alignment. Aligning with my womanhood, gifts, and, most of all, my purpose. Everything has to align with my faith and values in the season of my life. Another step closer to the person I need to be, I realized I needed to work on the art of forgiving.
I was tasked with writing a letter for my father's appeal earlier this year, and for the life of me, it was one of the hardest things to be asked to do. As a person who thinks I have a way of writing, this letter took me about a month to complete, and I realized it was because I was in a state of unforgiveness. Who would have thought that something so simple is one of the most challenging concepts to master?
As a child, we are taught to say "sorry" if we hurt someone or did something we didn't mean. But really, have we been introduced to forgiveness? Can we actually say we saw someone truly forgive and move forward? Have we actually seen someone master forgiveness where they never brought up that hurt again? Not get an apology and still move on? I know I haven’t.
According to the Oxford Dictionary of Languages, to forgive, since it is a verb, is defined as the release of resentment or anger. Tyler Perry stated, "Forgiveness is freeing oneself to move on." Well, boy, I tell you, I have been angry and stuck. As I fall deeper into my womanhood and faith, I have taken a deep dive into learning how to move forward and forgive people. Really, when I think about it - I am on a train ride to Forgiveness Land. Starting with childhood and moving forward, I can learn how to do it with everyone. Who knows how far this train will take me, but it's worth a try. First stop on this train, good old Dad.
Many have faced pain and hurt, saying, "We don't care; it is what it is." But the truth is, we hold onto that pain. It takes immense courage to confront and come to terms with our feelings. Writing our truth is not easy, but it is a powerful tool for self-reflection and growth. This letter I wrote became a testament to my strength and his character, humility, and honesty. Despite the trauma caused by my father's incarceration, I have refused to let it define me. Instead, I have sought help through prayer, therapy, and self-reflection. It takes great courage to face our fears and seek help, and I am proud of myself. The journey of forgiveness is never an easy one, and it is often filled with difficult questions and self-doubt. However, it is a journey worth taking. By digging deep and pushing through the pain, we can find peace and understanding that we never thought possible.
Through my life experiences, I have gained the understanding that most individuals try their best with the resources and abilities they possess. This realization has enabled me to perceive people and situations in an impartial and objective manner. Despite facing challenges in managing my negative emotions, I am constantly motivated to improve myself and strive towards personal growth. As I have grown older and entered my thirties, I have come to appreciate the significance of looking beyond appearances and building a small yet strong support system of individuals who encourage and inspire me. With the right people in your life, it becomes easier to forgive and evolve.
I would be dishonest if I said that I have fully come to terms with everything that has happened, but I have managed to complete the letter and fulfill my responsibilities towards my father as asked. As for everything else, it is solely his responsibility and the result of his actions. I have managed to work through my negative feelings of loss this year. Most importantly, I am forgiving myself. Forgiveness is a daily practice that one needs to master, and I am doing my part to move forward by accepting what is and letting go of what I once thought. I hope it becomes easier as I become more self-aware. As we approach the end of this year, I can see how much I have dealt with and grown. Here are my little gems from 2023:
As I try to remain delicate, I know what I went through was for the greater human in me.
Take everything in strides; where is the discernment?
Remember, people's decisions and actions reflect them and their fears; most of the time, it has nothing to do with you.
Hold onto the ones that value you.
It's okay to leave people and things right where they are…and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Just be.
People gonna hate…
Be open to new people!
For everything you have asked for, continue to have an open mind. Things come when you least expect it.
Be willing to learn or unlearn.
And lastly, Staying prayed up because people are hella whack.
May this last post of the year inspire you to face your struggles with courage and honesty. Remember that you are not alone; with determination and perseverance, you can overcome anything that comes your way. Happy New Year, Y’all!
Until next time…stay authentic…